It started out like any other food blog. By the end, I would never be the same.
I was heading out to eat in San Francisco’s Mission District, but the organic vegan Japanese restaurant I intended to try out was closed (#firstworldproblems). I consulted my WWJD bracelet.
Jesus suggested I go to Yamo, a Burmese place around the corner.
It’s a cramped counter with 7 seats under a canopy of interrogation lights.
But there are three very active Burmese women: one scalping young coconuts with a machete, another frying seven woks at once, and the last one cackled while she circumcised soup toppings.
These women had sass. When a regular returned for his third meal of mango chicken in one day, the cook joked with him: “You so hungry! What? You no eat breakfast?”
They keep it busy at Yamo!
Hey Grandma, those bowls ain’t gonna fill themselves!
I scrumped down a tea leaf salad: a traditional dish consisting of fermented tea leaves, dried shrimp, roasted peanuts, fried beans and more good stuff.
I thought this was delicious and potentially super-healthy…until I looked it up and learned that many brands of fermented tea leaves are tainted with Auramine O, a cancer-causing 3M-manufactured chemical, better known as the canary yellow color of a Post-it®.
I tried the fish chowder noodle soup next, a hearty bowl of thick and fishy broth flavored with ginger, textured with fried beans, and full of scrumptiously soaked noodles.
I slurped it all up while they delivered me yet another “Family of Four”-sized plate of food. Veggie curry house noodles. These noodles were kickin’. I had so much fun slurping these hot greasy suckers up.
It made me wish for a Burmese grandma: my own “a-pwa” to make this for me when I was sick or had a lousy day.
Serious comfort food.
But then, I looked up for the first time and realized this place was kind of weird. The lights above us were spinning out of control—winding around in fast circles like alien space craft. The food was so good, nobody seemed to notice. The “Burmese 3″ toiled like the witches of Shakespeare’s Macbeth, while my noodle-loving neighbors slurped soup like an insane choir prophesying doom.
I realized then that Burmese Space Lights ARE REAL!
But don’t take my word for it.
Instead, watch this heavily edited and very convincing video about this startling phenomenon happening at a Burmese restaurant/hotbed for the paranormal near you!
Note: Sound effects compiled from recordings made by FxProSound