I love, love, love Portuguese (and all South American) rotisserie chicken for three reasons:
- Awesomely spiced/marinated
- Seared, caramelized skin from a coal-fired rotisserie
- Often accompanied with killer green or orange sauce
Unfortunately, we got to Pollo Romados, a Portuguese mom-and-pop in Montreal, at kind of an off moment. They weren’t rotisserie-ing and the chicken I was given was this sad bird left sitting in a foil container for God-knows-how-long.
I almost said “Bye Bye Birdie” when we saw the chicken but we stuck around and tried our luck.
Look at that beautiful skin. Not one pimple!
Things quickly improved when they handed me a free Portuguese bread roll that was NFL regulation size.
I popped open my dinner’s styrofoam container and discovered Potatopia: an enchanted place where everything is covered by a thin blanket of stale french fries.
Though the chicken was a bit cold and swam in a puddle of flavorless grease, I persevered.
And hey, to be fair, I did request”EXTRA SAUCE!” so hard that my eyebrows jumped off my face and landed back in place a full moment later.
Sniff..sniff…Sniff…sniff…I learned this one from watching my dog.
Well, I did just eat 3,274 french fries and a greasy chicken covered in tarantula blood but…what’s a few bites of bread gonna do?
Oh man, shouldn’t have ate that bread. It just sent things over the edge. Breathing….heavy….eyes…closing….evening’s plans….ruined….
…ZzzzZ…zzzz…el mar…zzzz….el mar de Ria Formosa…zzz…
We walked out of Pollo Romados bloated and feeling like our gooses had been cooked.
I woke up sometime that night and ran for the bathroom. I’ll spare you the gory details, but it was the second sickest I’d ever been from food poisoning.
What have I learned from this experience?
- Don’t eat at a restaurant that’s been featured on Kitchen Nightmares twice!
- Don’t ask for “Extra Sauce” when said sauce is day-old room temperature animal renderings!
- Hire a medieval-style “taster”